I'm new to this kind of thing, well I'm new to having to fight for the custody of my daughter also. My exgirlfriend left me about 4 months ago, never really saw it comming. I can say I was a mess for a while. I could not focus on anything that was going on in my life. I kept trying to think of what I could have done, trying to think of what I could do to keep my family together. Of course the harder I tried the worse it got. I attempted several times to sit down with her and try to understand why she was doing what she was. I was told everything from "I need to see if I can make it on my own" to " I just need to be free for a while, to find myself". I sat down one day and wrote out what the most important things in my life were. The top of the list was my little girl, and I realized that I had been fighting so hard for one relationship that was over. That I was loosing one that was still strong. My daughter and I are very close, always have been, and I pray always will be. Her mother has lost herself in her social life, choosing to go out and party over spending time with her daughter. She loves to blame me for everything negative that happens to her these days. I haven't figured it out yet but somhow I am the cause of every prob she has if her life at the moment. The major problem I am having now is how do I support this little girl to still have a relationship with her mother. To tell her that her mother is important for her to be around.
To hear all the negativity that she pours out when my daughter is there. I support my daughter, I do tell her that she needs to spend time at her mothers, that she needs to be there for her mother. When she tells me that she tries not to listen when her mother mother tells her that she is going to take away her time with her grandparents. That they are not the parents so they have no rights when it comes to my daughter. These are people that let her and my daughter stay in an apartment in the basment of thier home. Would watch my daughter for her when she would go out knowing what she had done. well I have been totally focused on keeping my child safe, happy and being sure i put her before anything else in my life. it just kills me to see her so upset with how her mother is treating her. she adores her mother and can't seem to get any of her attention. her mother is so focused on trying to make me look bad that she has forgotten the most important thing in her life. she has created a new group of friends that she has believing every thing she says about me. I can honestly say that it does not bother me that she still tries to slander me, but what can i do to help my daughter deal with it. Her skin is not as thick as mine, my relationship with her mother is through but hers will be there for the rest of her life. I really don't want to see my daughter grow up to resent her mother. |
